


Sleep Deprived

by Angel_Waters



Category: Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter - Laurell K. Hamilton
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angel_Waters/pseuds/Angel_Waters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward's thoughts on Anita and her ties to the monsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep Deprived

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on PommeDeSang under the pen name xDeaDesdemona, I changed my handle when I switched sites but still the same author.

I can’t sleep. Obviously. This is nothing new to me, especially in the weeks following Donna’s death. But that’s all in the past. Now there’s a new nightmare plaguing my every waking hour, keeping me from that ever-elusive rest. From what I can tell, it’s called the ardeur.

No, it’s not mine. It’s yours. And his, too. He passed it on to you like some fucking STD. There’s no way to get rid of it. Even if I kill him, it might be too late to repair this damage. Not to mention that fact that it would probably kill you.

My contacts provide me with every detail I could possibly want. Everything and then some, in most cases. I knew within an hour of the second triumvirate being formed. I might as well have been in the room with you every time those monsters so much as looked at you.

It’s disgusting.

I don’t see how you can possibly be with them. Any of them. All of them.

It’s revolting.

How can you scream out their names, when you never even dreamed of whispering mine? What makes them better than me? Am I not enough of a monster for you now?

I nearly killed the informant who told me about Micah. There was no way my Anita would’ve... I can’t even think it. But you did. You really did.

I still can’t believe how far you’ve fallen. You had morals once. Damn rigid ones, too. You wouldn’t even let yourself look at Bernardo, and now you’re fucking seven men. Well, perhaps a few “don’t count” in your opinion. Jason, for example. They count in my book, though. They all count, even more so if they don’t to you.

What happened to my Anita? She would’ve rather died than be the person she’s become. I know that. I promised to keep her safe from the monsters. I couldn’t do that for her. I couldn’t kill her, no matter how far or how fast she was falling. I failed her. I failed you. I failed myself.


End file.
